blog – thewritefluff

CAN I BORROW A SMILE

Kirk Van Houten feels…

So I’ve come to ask ya sugar, can I borrow your smile?

I’ve lost a little something,
And it’s been gone for a while,
So I’ve come to ask ya sugar,
Can I borrow your smile?

Sick of my damn frown,
And the dreaded frown lines,
I’m ageing baby,
I’m on the decline.
I’m stretchin’ those lips,
And putting on a brave front,
Pushing through,
Striving to get in front.

I want a real smile,
Not this fake bullshit,
‘Cos nobody likes a sad sack,
And don’t I know it.

So I’ve come to ask ya sugar,
Can I borrow your smile?
‘Cos it’s missing in action,
And been gone for a while.

Never let ‘em see you sweat,
Never let ‘em see you cry,
Put on your happy mask,
There ain’t a tear in my eye.

But it ain’t easy,
Putting on a front,
It ain’t easy,
To bear the brunt.
I’m like Kirk Van Houten,
Beggin’ to borrow a feeling,
But I got plenty of them,
So I gotta focus on my healing.

Gotta stop hiding,
And stop the damn act,
Gotta be real,
‘Cos I’m strong and intact.

So sugar,
It’s been gone for a while,
But somehow or someway,
I gotta get back my smile.
I’ll figure it out,
I’ll learn how to smile once more,
I’ll stretch those lips,
Like never before.

COOL GIRL

Cool girls don’t get angry, we’re sweet as pie,
A walk in the park,
A breathy and sensuous sigh.
We’re uncomplicated,
A piece of cake,
A smokeshow,
And baby, you’ll never wanna take a break.

But what if I’m not a cool girl?
What if I’m just me?
Will it be okay?
If I set myself free?

‘Cause I wanna be a cool girl,
Low maintenance and go with the flow,
Calm and composed,
Easy breezy and all for show.

But will I be the villian?
The big bad girl?
Sittin’ back and watching?
As the chaos unfurls?
If I speak my mind?
And call you out on your shit?
Am I all drama?
Do I not know when to quit?

‘Cause I wanna be a cool girl,
Low maintenance and go with the flow,
Calm and composed,
Easy breezy and all for show.

See, I am a cool girl,
But I’m real and true,
I’m just me,
But will it be enough for you?
Cool girls are understanding,
And I got compassion and patience,
But I’m wild and can be,
Audacious and vivacious.

But what if I’m not a cool girl?
What if I’m just me?
Will it be okay?
If I set myself free?

I can be low maintenance,
And sometimes I can go with the flow,
But I refuse to hide,
And be all for show.

Cool girls are real girls,
Cool girls don’t hide behind a veneer,
We’re bonafide authentic,
And with us, you’ve got nothing to fear.

SAFE IN YOUR ARMS

I’m shielded,
And I don’t hear the warning alarms,
All I feel is safe,
Safe in your arms.

Can’t see the red flags,
Don’t hear the doubts,
It’s blissful ignorance,
And I’m deaf to the shouts…

Of my intuition,
Of that little voice,
That says run bitch, run,
But you see, I’ve got no choice.

So here I stay,
Dazed by your charms,
And all I feel is safe,
Safe in your arms.

I won’t listen,
When they tell me to go,
Because in my heart,
I feel what I know.

They don’t know you,
Like I do,
Because if they did,
They’d know, too.

Why I can’t let go,
Why I can’t stay away,
Why I’ll always hold tight,
Why I’ll never stray.

So here I stay,
And here is where I’ll remain,
I’m enveloped,
We’re two links in a chain.
And so I linger,
And I don’t hear the warning alarms,
‘Cause I’m safe here,
Safe in your arms.

STARRY EYED AND STARSTRUCK

The more you push,
The more I pull,
And I’m feelin’ like,
A fucking fool.
I’m not the kinda girl,
Who likes to be kept waiting,
I’m over all the apps,
And the superficial dating.

Don’t need nobody else,
What I want is you,
I’m starry-eyed and starstruck,
Don’t know what to do.
How can I lure you,
Into my bed and into my heart,
‘Cause baby I can’t stand these nights,
Of loneliness when we’re apart.

I’m graspin’ at straws,
But can’t keep hold.
You’re elusive and untouchable,
And baby, this game’s gettin’ old.
I can’t let you in,
‘Cause I’m in danger,
And sometimes it feels,
You’re nothin’ but a stranger.

But I don’t need nobody else,
What I want is you,
I’m starry-eyed and starstruck,
Don’t know what to do.
How can I lure you,
Into my bed and into my heart,
‘Cause baby I can’t stand these nights,
Of loneliness when we’re apart.

I’ll keep you at arms length,
‘Cause I can’t let down my walls,
Can’t risk the hurt,
Though my heart to you, it calls.
You’re probably all wrong for me,
And it’ll end in tears,
Should I take the risk?
Though my heart is plauged by fears?

But deep down I know…

I don’t need nobody else,
And what I want is you,
I’m starry-eyed and starstruck,
And I don’t know what to do.
How can I lure you,
Into my bed and into my heart,
‘Cause baby I can’t stand these nights,
Of loneliness when we’re apart.

MY TIME TO SHINE

I’ll come out of my shell, and strip off my disguise, I’ll face my foes, and out of the ashes I’ll fucking rise…

I’m sparkling and I’m shining,
I’m ready to soar,
It’s my moment,
Hear me roar.
I’m shimmering and I’m flickering,
Ready to glow,
It’s my moment and,
I’ll thrive and I’ll grow.

I’m streakin’ the sky,
I’m iridescent,
And when I’m on my way,
Damn, I’m incessant.

Because it’s my time,
My time,
My time to shine.
I’ll come out of my shell,
And strip off my disguise,
I’ll face my foes,
And out of the ashes, I’ll fucking rise.

I’ve been dormant,
For far too long,
I’ve been scared,
But now I’m strong.
I’m a force,
To be reckoned with,
And you know it’s ’cause,
I’m a damn good wordsmith.

Across the pages,
My pen it races,
Jagged scrawls,
And your heart it races.

What will I write?
And what will I say?
You can run and hide boy,
But not today.

Face it,
And you’ll see,
It’s my time to shine,
My time to break free.
And you won’t like the hard truths,
I’m spreadin’ across this landscape,
Because you know boy,
There’ll be no escape.

Because it’s my time,
My time,
My time to shine.
I’ll come out of my shell,
And strip off my disguise,
I’ll face my foes,
And out of the ashes, I’ll fucking rise.

I’m ready for the big reveal,
Your secrets are no more,
I’m gettin’ closer,
And I’m bustin’ down that door.

‘Cause you can’t hide from me,
And I’m strippin’ off my disguise,
I’ll face you my foe,
And out of the ashes, I’ll fucking rise.

CARS, STARS AND TRIPS TO MARS

Most folks wonder,
Why they’re so annoyed,
They keep buyin’ stuff,
To fill the void.
They never take the time,
To remove the blindfold,
‘Cause just a quick peep,
Would reveal a truth untold.

Ya got plastic,
And ya got folding,
But don’t throw ya money at me,
When it’s him you’re molding.

Cars and stars,
And drinks in bars,
You’ll be first in line,
When they’re sellin’ trips to Mars.

Watch for the water,
On the tiles,
You might slip.
You’re blindfold’s on tight,
Baby you’re gonna lose your grip.
There’s a place for everything,
But my everything is your face,
I crossed your line,
But baby, I’m not in your race.

I wanna grab ya, shake ya,
And rip off your veil,
But with just one look you’ll disappear,
As quick as melting hail.

Cars and stars,
And drinks in bars,
You’ll be first in line,
When they’re sellin’ trips to Mars.

You feel safe ‘n sound,
When ya count ya beans,
If ya had all the bucks on Wall Street,
You’ll never cash in my dreams.
It’s all just a game,
Ya keep on sayin’,
But it’s my heart strings you’re strummin’,
And my soul you’re slayin’.

The stench of the burbs,
Is cruel ‘n vile,
Come away with me,
For just a while.
Far from the lights,
You can see the night sky,
You’ll look up there ‘n see,
You’re a slice of magic pie.

Cars, stars,
And trips to Mars.
Don’t spend your life,
Behind self made bars.

The void you’re feelin’,
Is a funny sort,
It can’t be filled,
With somethin’ ya bought.

Cars, stars,
And trips to Mars,
Cars, stars,
And last hurrahs.
You’re part of me,
And so are the stars,
We’re made of the same stuff,
On those trips to Mars.

When you roll over,
You won’t feel the cold,
I’ll be there,
But not your blindfold.

SHALLOW

You want the stereotypical hot girl,
She’s got a bangin’ body and gets the looks,
But I can still break ya,
And leave ya shook.
I know what you want,
The elusive illusion,
But I’m tellin’ you boy,
It’s a damn delusion.

I can do it as good as them,
And play with the best,
I got curves and thick thighs,
So honey, give it a rest.

You’re chasing me,
Creepin’ like a shadow,
You’re all talk though babe,
You’re so damn shallow.

I still got it and I,
Got a little somethin’ to offer you boy,
I don’t stalk the catwalk,
But damn I’m a good decoy.
But still them eyes stray,
To perfection that ain’t real,
It leaves me wondering…
What’s your fucking deal?

I can do it better,
I can play your game,
I don’t give a fuck,
I ain’t got no shame.

You’re chasing me,
Creepin’ like a shadow,
You’re all talk though babe,
You’re so damn shallow.

So you want the model?
The girls on the magazine cover?
What if I told you?
That I’m a hell of a lover?
I may not be stick thin,
I ain’t no size 8,
But you’re head’s in the clouds,
And you’re beggin’ them for a hot date.

So you’re chasin’ them,
Creepin’ like a shadow,
But they know what’s up too,
‘Cause you’re too damn shallow.
We all want the dream,
We all want the illusion,
But I got one up on you boy,
It’s a damn delusion.

So baby,
Set your mind at ease,
Because your dreams ain’t nothin’ but a,
Tantalising tease.
We see right through you,
You’re nothin’ but a shadow,
Because we all know you’re, so damn shallow.

GIRLISH GLEE

That’s just me, that’s just me,
I’ll hit you with a little bit of,
Girlish glee.
And you’ll shake your head,
At my frivolous charms,
But will you want me baby,
In your arms?

I’m a little ditzy,
Scatty and reckless,
But will you still want me?
When I’m silly and senseless?
But I can be exciting,
Yet erratic and irrational,
But can you take me,
When I’m fiery and flammable?

But darling..

That’s just me, that’s just me,
I’ll hit you with a little bit of,
Girlish glee.
And you’ll shake your head,
At my frivolous charms,
But will you want me baby,
In your arms?

I’m hard to handle and,
No easy feat,
But if you take me for a ride,
Baby, I can’t be beat.
Sometimes I think,
I’m losing my mind,
But take a chance on me,
‘Cause I’m one of a kind.

That’s just me, that’s just me,
I’ll hit you with a little bit of,
Girlish glee.
And you’ll shake your head,
At my frivolous charms,
But will you want me baby,
In your arms?

But my kind ain’t superficial,
And I ain’t the best,
But if you let me in,
I assure you baby….
You’ll get no rest.
So what’s your answer?
And what’s the go?
It’s time that you,
Let me know.

So what’s up?
And what’ll it be?
Are you up for the game of my,
Girlish glee?

‘Cause that’s just me, that’s just me,
I’m girlish and I’m,
Fucking free.
Will you shake your head?
At my frivolous charms?
And will you take me darling…
Into your arms?

BETTER THAN YOU

Maybe I don’t want normal,
Or necessarily good,
They say you’re bad for me,
But maybe you’re just misunderstood.

So hit me, grab me,
And pull my hair too,
Nobody does it better babe,
Better than you.

You’re so wrong,
But oh so right,
But maybe I like that,
And how you like to pick a fight.
I like the challenge,
And I like the game,
I’ve got you in my sights,
And I’m takin’ aim.

You’re my target,
You’re my goal,
We’re blacker than black,
Darker than coal.

So hit me, grab me,
And pull my hair too,
Nobody does it better babe,
Better than you.

But I’m on par,
Baby you’ve met your match,
Outstretch them arms and get ready,
‘Cause I’m a fucking catch.
Didn’t I mention?
Didn’t I say,
You’re the bad boy,
But damn do I like to play.

I’ve got the experience,
I’ve got the expertise,
And when I’m finished with you,
You’ll be beggin’ on your knees.
But I can do it better,
You underestimated me,
I ain’t no pawn in your game,
I’m the master…
And you’ll never be free.

I can grab you,
And I can pull your hair too,
You thought nobody could do it better,
Better than you.
But I can do it better,
And I’ll catch you unawares,
I’m flipping them tables on you,
So say your prayers.

So hit me and grab me,
And pull my hair too,
But get ready baby…

‘Cause I’m coming for you.

SECOND SNIPPET OF MY NOVEL

The day came to find out, what went down, a tiger shark had got ’em, Ben told the Crown.

A gaping mouth. Lethally sharp teeth. A tell-tale fin disappearing beneath the water.
It’s coming right for us.
Soon it will reach its prey, its target.
Us.
I can almost feel the searing pain as its teeth sink readily, and hungrily, into my flesh.
Should I close my eyes? Should I try to fight it? Can I fight it? Or will my efforts be futile? Fruitless? As pointless as the desperate hope we’ve been clinging to for 48 hours?
The vastness of the ocean is a beautiful, albeit intimidating, thing. It’s easy to feel small, and quite inconsequential, when surrounded by the frothy peaks of gently drifting waves.
It’s also easy to feel soothed by the steady, reassuring feeling of putting your feet back onto solid ground. Marvelling at the beauty of the sea, but feeling comfort at the fact that this isn’t your home.
It’s theirs.
They have shared it with you begrudgingly, keeping their distance, maybe a little intrigued and maybe a little frightened, at the sight of you exploring their habitat.
But they know you will find your way back to where you belong.
That’s the thing though.
What if you couldn’t? What if you resurfaced, adrenaline and euphoria pumping through your veins, only to be instantly swamped with confusion? A growing sense of dread and panic?
There’s no boat. No solid ground.
And that intimidating vastness stretches all around you, as far as the eye can see.
And now the creatures that lurked in the shadowy depths – waiting, watching – are ready to take back what’s rightfully theirs.

WE’RE STILL TIGHT

Ever had a friend like Courtney Shayne from Jawbreaker? Or Regina George from Mean Girls? If you have you might like what I have to say about my ex friend who was just like this!

The day we cut you off,
The day we cut you loose,
We were free from your grip,
And free from your noose.

Don’t you see we were trapped?
And we were suffocating,
Done with the appeasing,
Done with the placating.

It’d kill ya to know,
We’re still tight,
You’re on the outs now bitch,
And nothin’ ever felt so right.

We had nothing left to give,
‘Cos you wanted it all,
You had some fucking nerve girl,
But now you’ve hit a wall.

‘Cos we don’t want your jealousy,
Or your devious tricks,
You’re a master manipulator,
It’s how you get your kicks.

It’d kill ya to know,
We’re still tight,
You’re on the outs now bitch,
And nothin’ ever felt so right.

‘Cos we’re shinin’ too bright….

And you’ll say,
‘They’re tryna out do us’,
We can’t help it that,
They’re makin’ a fuss.

And that won’t do,
So she’s gotta dim our light, She’s gotta wear us down, She’s gotta pick a fight.

It’d kill ya to know,
We’re still tight,
You’re on the outs now bitch,
And nothin’ ever felt so right.

A blissful…

Eight years, eight years…
Since we cut our ties…

A blissful…

Eight years, eight years…
Since we said our goodbyes.

So it’d kill ya to know,
We’re still tight,
You’re on the outs now bitch,
And nothin’ ever felt so right.

And nothin’ ever felt so right,
When we took flight,
Our backs are turned now,
And we’re free to shine bright.

A SNIPPET FROM MY FIRST NOVEL

“They bobbed up to see,
The Outer Edge speed away,
Now on the reef,
They would always stay”.

PROLOGUE

Picture this. It’s a sunny, postcard perfect day on the Coral Sea. The surface of the gently lapping waves iridescent, shimmering beneath the glow of a brightly burning sun. The sky, a cloudless, robin’s egg blue.
In a word, paradise.
But sometimes, even the most beautiful things, can have a layer of fear and trepidation lurking just beneath the surface. Often entirely unpredictable and unfathomable.
After exploring the magestic depths of St Crispin’s Reef, located on Australia’s Great Barrier Reef, two scuba divers, a husband and wife, resurface.
Planning to again climb aboard the MV Outer Edge. A charter boat responsible for taking them to this awe-inspiring location for a group scuba diving expedition.
They are however mystified to discover that their charter boat has beat a hasty retreat.
Without them.
Bewildered, the young couple shade their eyes against the relentlessly hot summer sun, turning their heads anxiously this way and that. Hoping of spotting the very vessel they’d trusted to deliver them to their destination of St Crispin’s Reef. And to return them to the Queensland coast, 40km away.
Their minds begin to race with unanswered questions, mounting panic and uncertainty.
Surely, this was a mistake? Surely, this could not be possible?
After all, It was inconceivable to imagine that the charter boat had simply departed before ensuring all passengers were accounted for and on board.
The young couple, in an attempt to soothe their rising fears, theorised that the boat would likely realise the blunder immediately and return. Perhaps with a profoundly embarrassed and remorseful apology.
Wrong.
Because this is what did not transpire on January 25, 1998.
And what did eventually transpire, was unfortunately all too little, all too tragically late.
And both husband and wife, American tourists Tom and Eileen Lonergan, who had every right to believe they’d return home safely to continue their holiday abroad…
Have never been found.
This is their story.

“They lived a diver’s worst dream,
And this is the Ballad of Tom and Eileen”.